I want to be happy.

For nearly 3 years, I was at every beckon call of my drama-prone parents and their crazy Chinese-Viet schemes. And for those 3 years, I didn't have a life. Now that I finally have a job and my parents no longer have that damn restaurant, I feel... like I don't know what to do with myself. I was so used to being in a crisis mode and unhappy that it is now difficult for me to know what real happiness feels like. I want to be happy, but I don't even remember what that emotion feels like?

Season 4, The Wire

I just got done watching season 4 of The Wire. This season is perhaps the most disturbing show I've ever watched in my life. It bothered me because it had to deal with the lives of youth from the hood - youth who didn't have a chance because their paths were predetermined by our screwed up systems. At the same time, there was hope for some which made me feel slightly better. (I gotta remind myself its a show and I can't take it to heart even though its happening in the real world.)

It made me just think, in the grand scheme of things, taking into account our urban streets and the third world conditions.. it all don't mean shit when our streets are still in chaos. Its all petty.