Tired.

I am too tired to even write. Dealing with all the problems going on in this world is exhausting being an activist. But, dealing with the world's shit on top of your family's shit just makes it all the worse. There are many days and nights when I just want to crawl into a hole and sleep there until I'm ready to come out. It can be for hours, days, maybe even weeks. There are many other times when I remind myself that shit's already hit the fan... deal with it and learn to live with it. However, I find living with it so damn hard. I cry and cry wishing for mercy and for all these problems affecting my family to stop. I have to tell myself to believe that things do happen for a reason. My strong and spiritual friend, Rosa, told me, "God..the sky.. (or whoever) chooses certain people to place their problems on because they believe the selected people are strong enough to handle it. God knows you're strong enough to get through it, why else were you picked to go through the problems?"

I tell myself, stop crying, stop moping. But, we all deserve moping passes (Miles even made me a moping pass!). When things settle, we also need to enjoy our lives because there's nothing we can do about the situations other than riding it out. So I'm just going to ride it out.... fiercely.